In Search of Lucy: A Novel Read online

  Amy turned around, smiling her appreciation to Lucy. She understood how hard it was for Lucy to be in this position. She also had some idea of what she had been through in the past. There were bits and pieces of conversations, comments she pieced together. Plus, Amy seemed to have a keen intuition and could really tell things about people.

  “Thank you, dear,” Mrs. Gordon said.

  Kim took the lid off the water so Mrs. Gordon could take a sip and continued to quietly rub the woman’s fingernails, pushing on her cuticles. Kim, a shy, slender young woman of twenty-five, had above average looks according to Lucy’s scale. Not pretty enough to resent, but cute enough to be drawn to.

  Lucy’s own looks had been like a woman’s diet—up and down like a yo-yo. As a child she was cute as can be—beautiful in fact. People were always telling her mother, “Watch out for the boys when she grows up.” Like most kids in junior high, she had an awkward period, which was exacerbated by the anxiety of her home life. Once in high school, and basically taking on the role of mother to her little sister, she began to mature and blossom. She was becoming a woman. But the year just before her half sister Katie left, she felt like a mother being pulled apart from her rebellious daughter. She had no one to turn to, and life took its toll.

  Most days Lucy didn’t concern herself with her daily appearance either. It was too much work, and after being basically alone for six years, she realized it really didn’t make much difference. The only beauty she concerned herself with was when she was drawing or painting. That’s when her appreciation for the exquisite really came out. But if you looked closely, you could still see the lovely features that peeked out beneath the apathetic expression on her face.

  “Why don’t you send him to your son’s house to work on that kitchen remodeling you talked about last week,” Lucy offered without even looking up from the counter.

  Both Kim and Mrs. Gordon looked up in surprise at Lucy’s suggestion. Lucy rarely joined into the conversations, and most times it appeared that she wasn’t even listening. A smile slowly formed across Mrs. Gordon’s face.

  “I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that. Lucy, that is the best idea! It will help my son, make me look good, and get rid of Stephen for a while.” Then to Kim she said, “C’mon, Kim, finish me up, I’ve got some exciting plans to tell Mr. Gordon about.”

  After Mrs. Gordon left, and sometime later that day, Amy handed Lucy an envelope. It was a tip from Mrs. Gordon. She’d wanted to make sure that Lucy received it, so she handed it directly to Amy instead of including it in with Kim’s tip. That was smart thinking on her part.

  “Good job, Lucy!” Amy said as Lucy opened the envelope and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. Lucy beamed at the crisp bill while listening to Amy shuffle away.

  It was seven o’clock on a Friday night and closing time for Amy’s Nails. Lucy had begun collecting her things to leave for the day when she noticed Mickey Chin walking up to the door. He usually came after everyone left, and sometimes just before, to pick up the deposit and get Amy. When she did run into him, she always debated on whether or not to ask him about the technician spot. She worried about annoying him, which was not a difficult task. He kept giving her the same excuse about the economy and how the beauty business just isn’t what it used to be. The economy—that is what sparked her to think of other ways to make money, ways to use her own skills and talents.

  So, last time she spoke to Mickey, it was about the window design at the front entrance. It had been the same since Lucy started, and she knew she could do something fun and more vibrant with it. She had shown him some basic sketch ideas, and he seemed to like them, but since that day Mickey had not said a word about it. From time to time Lucy was able to get other freelance art jobs, but she hadn’t had one in a while. By and large they were window or wall displays, and she even did a few wood furniture designs. If Mickey agreed to this, it would give her something to look forward to.

  “Good evening, Miss Lucy,” he said, walking through the door. He was always very formal in the way he addressed the women. Actually, everything about Mickey was very formal. He always wore suit pants and a nice shirt, and his hair had a little mini wave in the front that looked way too plastered.

  “Hello, Mr. Chin,” she replied. In the beginning Lucy had addressed him as Mr. Chin to be polite and out of fear of offending him. Since he never corrected her, she hadn’t changed it. All the other ladies called him Mickey.

  “How are you, Miss Lucy?” he said as he walked past her.

  “Fine…uh…?” Lucy answered as her head followed his path.

  The opportunity seemed to have been missed. Mickey was already opening the door to the back room. Disappointed, Lucy grabbed her stuff and walked toward the door to leave.

  “Oh, Miss Lucy,” Mickey’s voice came back.

  Lucy turned to see him in the doorway where he was standing and holding the door half open. “I almost forgot. I talked to Amy, and she says she is tired of looking at this old window display…but I think maybe we should hire a professional. I know we talked about it before, but I’m just not sure yet.”

  Lucy’s expression sagged. She was trying to process the information and figure out what to say when Mickey spoke again.

  “Let me talk with Amy and think about it further. Then I’ll let you know.”

  “Well…could I show you some more designs? I’ve got some really good ideas.”

  “That will be fine,” he answered with a single nod.

  “Thanks, Mr. Chin. I’ll bring them in next week.” Lucy turned to the door to leave.

  “One more thing.” His voice caught her, and she spun around. “Remember that this would be a project on your time, not during work hours.”

  “Of course,” she said. “I appreciate the opportunity, Mr. Chin.” Lucy left frustrated but still hopeful that her designs would win them over. She should have known Mr. Chin would be all business. She wondered if his concern about work hours was one of the reasons he wanted to hire someone else. It was a fair request though, since he would be paying her for her time and work. Or maybe he just didn’t trust her with such a responsibility since she wasn’t the most reliable employee. Those two slave drivers had probably poisoned his mind against her. At least she had Amy on her side. She would need to come up with some incredible designs that Amy would not be able to resist.

  CHAPTER 3

  In the car on the way home, Lucy contemplated her dinner options. She originally had only four bucks left in her wallet, and she wasn’t getting paid for a few more days. That was typical for her. The second her paycheck was in her hand, it seemed as though every financial obligation she had seemed to automatically suck it right away from her. But now, thanks to Mrs. Gordon, she had twenty-four dollars. She thought about grabbing some tacos on the way home to avoid cooking spaghetti, which was the only thing she had left in her kitchen. Pasta was cheap, and it was truly her favorite, but she didn’t feel like cooking tonight, so tacos it was. Another advantage would be avoiding her neighbor Mrs. Allen. She had been asking Lucy for weeks if she could cook her dinner to thank her for finding her cat Peaches. The two ran into each other in the hall the day before, and Mrs. Allen insisted they make a tentative plan.

  “How about tomorrow night?” Mrs. Allen had asked hopefully.

  “I’ll try, Mrs. Allen,” Lucy told her with a plastered smile. She often wondered what her smile looked like to other people. It hardly came natural to her, so it always felt forced. “But I may have to stay after work and help…uh, with ordering stuff,” she fumbled.

  “All right, dear.” She put one hand on her hip and pointed at Lucy with her other hand, sending that you better do what I say message. “Well you just let me know then…because I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll just keep asking until you agree.”

  Mary Allen had lived in that apartment for sixteen years. She didn’t want to move because her husband had died while they were living there. Lucy, on the other hand, was dying to get out.
Next month would mark three years living in a one-bedroom in the Sunset Vista Apartments off East Orange Avenue in Fullerton. She moved in when they lost the house. Upside down on the mortgage and no longer able to make payments, there was a short sale by the bank. Her mother had taken off a year before that, so it was up to Lucy to handle everything. In and out of rehab twice, Lucy tried to think of her mother as a roommate who was away on business. She hadn’t heard from her since. It only took a couple of months, and the house that Lucy grew up in was gone.

  The apartment building itself was a bit run-down, but unlike her car, Lucy kept her own apartment neat and clean. In terms of decorations, it was simple and understated except for a few of her paintings. She hung a beach scene in her bathroom that she had done after spending the day there walking and thinking. There was another in her room above a blue chair that was of a horse. It was her first painting, and it was just something she drew first from a picture. She had never even ridden a horse before, but she just thought it was beautiful.

  The furniture was smart, in shades of burgundy, gold, and black. Once inside, she usually felt comfortable, at ease. Oftentimes when she arrived at her building, she made a beeline straight to her door so she could avoid the more unappealing aspects of her surroundings. At the top of that list would be some of the occupants of the Sunset Vista Apartments.

  The manager, Dale, was kind of creepy and spent a lot of time lurking around pretending to be checking something out. He had long, straggly black hair and scary teeth. Whenever Lucy ran into him, he would try to strike up a conversation or ask her if she needed anything. All the questions he asked made her feel uncomfortable. She usually made up some excuse that she had to get to work or run errands. If it really came down to it, she knew she could handle him. He wasn’t the type of guy she feared or was intimidated by. Lucy had encountered her fair share of those types growing up.

  The apartment also housed a few young couples just starting out and some retired elderly, but the majority of the tenants were thirtysomething men with major financial problems. Many of them were divorced or on unemployment, or both. But the rent was the cheapest in the area, and it was a decently safe place to live, except for that one incident that happened about a year and a half ago. The whole thing was pretty much over by the time Lucy got home, but Dale was all too happy to give her the skinny when he saw her walk up looking confused. Turned out the person they arrested wasn’t even a tenant, just some guy who was visiting his girlfriend. They picked him up for a B and E that happened the night before.

  Thankfully, all the occupants weren’t totally unbearable. Mrs. Allen could be a nuisance at times, but she was old and Lucy had more patience for old people. She always wished she had grandparents in her life. On TV, it always seemed so great and no matter what was going on with your parents, the grandparents were always there for you. Once in a while Mrs. Allen brought over desserts for Lucy and didn’t even offer to stay or try to chat Lucy’s ear off like some of the other people in the building. Mrs. Allen also had a niece, Anne, who visited often. Lucy and Anne had become close lately and even went out a couple of times.

  Anne, twenty-two, went to the JC part-time and worked at the hospital part-time. She planned to enter the nursing program next fall. She was a very peppy girl with a sweet smile. Lucy imagined her as the type of girl who would make the perfect cheerleader, but wasn’t popular enough to make the team.

  Finally home with tacos in hand, Lucy felt exhausted as she walked along the sidewalk. The orange glow of the setting sun beamed down on the section of faded grass that lined the pathway to her apartment. The sprinkler on the front corner was still broken, and water was dribbling out onto the cement forming an asymmetrical shape. When she reached the spot just before the outer set of stairs that led to her apartment, she noticed Dale and immediately looked for an escape route. Yes, the sprinkler needed fixing. But was it worth a conversation where she fought to keep from staring at the gold that peeked from behind Dale’s two yellow-gray front teeth? Definitely not! Like a truant teen, she turned her back and paused by the door of 4B, Benny Garcia’s apartment. From the sounds inside, she could tell he had company, probably Benny’s brother and his five-year-old twin boys. They stopped by a few times a month, and sometimes Benny babysat the twins.

  When she realized Dale had passed, she began to climb the stairs, and then she heard Benny’s door pop open.

  “Hey, Lucy,” Benny shouted from the doorway.

  A tall, dark-haired, green-eyed Latino, Benny was good-looking but could stand to lose a few pounds. You could tell he used to play football or something athletic and had muscles but didn’t quite keep up with his workouts, so the muscles had just turned to bulk.

  Benny dropped out of college five years ago to pursue stand-up comedy. He had gotten fired from his last two jobs. To most people that would sound irresponsible, but Lucy was in no position to judge given her own occupational history. Usually, his partners in comic crime would go out after their shows, and Benny always had a little trouble getting up the next day for work.

  “Tomorrow night is the big one.” The twins were causing a ruckus and trying to squeeze through Benny’s legs like wild rats trying to get out of a sack. “Knock it off, you two,” he boomed as he blocked them with both hands and legs. “Anne said she would come. How about you, Lucita?” he lured.

  The nickname, which started a few weeks ago, flattered Lucy. “Maybe…we’ll see,” she replied as she began to back up the stairs knowing the coast was clear.

  “No way, none of this maybe crap!” He swished his index finger back and forth like a mini windshield wiper. “I’ve got extra stage time, and you’ve only been one time.” One of the twins snuck by his side. Benny grabbed him and flung him over his shoulder. “C’mon, girl! What you gonna do? Stay home and paint your toenails?”

  Benny had only lived in the building for about six months, but he treated everyone as if he’d known them for years. It was hard for Lucy to evade that, and like everyone else, she tended to get sucked into his personality.

  “All right!” she shouted. “But you better make me laugh.” Lucy found him funny at times, but she couldn’t decide if he really was that hilarious or if it was because he was good-looking, in a sloppy sort of way. Plus, she did like the attention he gave her.

  “If you don’t laugh, I’ll stage dive naked.” He swung the boy back and forth simulating flying.

  “Please, then I’ll really be laughing.” She turned and continued up the stairs, waving a hand backward over her head. “See ya.”

  Benny watched Lucy climb the stairs for a moment, then guided the boy with arms stretched in flight back into the door, kicking it closed with his foot.

  At last in her apartment, Lucy grabbed a soda from the fridge and flopped down on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table. This was her standard Friday night: sitting in front of the TV, eating and watching some movie she had seen for the umpteenth time. She thought about the club tomorrow night and whether or not she should really go. She considered coming up with an excuse because she hadn’t felt like going out lately. But after giving it some more thought, she figured maybe it would be fun. She had enjoyed Anne’s company lately. Sure she was kind of corny and naïve and nosy. But…it was kind of like having a little sister again.

  Lucy would spend the day doing laundry and finalizing her sketches for the window proposal for Mr. Chin. Visuals were already floating around in her head, so getting it down on paper would be a cinch. She figured that would put her in a good enough mood to go out. As usual, she would need to have some pre-party libations to help her through the night.

  Later that evening, she sat up in bed staring at a page in her sketch pad. A pencil drawing of a young girl, shadowy yet vibrant in the eyes, which drew your focus directly to them. It was obvious that sketch had sparked a memory. Most of Lucy’s sketches were of people and things dear to her heart. It was the way she expressed her emotions. Everything just flowed right out of her
like a river, from pen or brush to page.

  A bottle of red wine was displayed like a cheap vase on the night table next to her bed, sans the wineglass. There was no need for formality, and it was the end of the bottle anyway. The television was on an XM music channel playing the eighties song “Look of Love.” Lucy closed the pad and set it down next to the wine bottle. Then she changed the channel to soft hits and turned off the light. Although it was faintly heard, it helped her to fall asleep. There were many nights she lay awake thinking of her mother and sister. Not just when life was happier and Tom was alive, because the bad thoughts always crept in like cancer secretly gnawing at her conscience. The fights, the fear, and the uncertainty were all there, and then she would push those memories back into the darkness. She missed them both even though their leaving left her feeling hurt and betrayed. She missed having someone in her life. Someone she could take care of as she did her sister, and someone who would be there for her. She had no idea how she could ever get that back. It was like a faraway land she longed to visit.

  CHAPTER 4

  People say if you hear something about yourself enough times, you begin to believe it. Lucy had experienced more than her share of negative criticism and hostility throughout her life. Her mother Linda had gone from a sweet, loving mom to a bitter, cruel woman. And as many victims of abuse blame themselves, Lucy carried her anger, guilt, and sadness around like a bulletproof vest. It kept her safe from being hurt, yet made her stiff and impenetrable. She wondered if there was something more she could have done to help her mother. Maybe if she had been more supportive and less defensive. On the other hand, she wondered how her mother could have done that to her. How could she turn things upside down and then just leave? With no one else to turn to, Lucy did her best to cope and handle the situations that came up. To her that meant protecting Katie, even if it also meant that Lucy would take the brunt of the backlashes from Linda.